Lana came directly to where I was standing, near her
dressing table. She stopped just short of me, and her head tilted slightly; as
she looked directly in my eyes, searching for something. By the way she'd
ordered the others out of her room, I gotten the feeling there was something
more on her mind than crotch itch. Now, she stood looking into my eyes, as if
she were trying to see all the way to the back of my skull through them, I knew
there was something else on her mind.
I looked back at her, but was unable to tell anything;
other than there was some burning question in her mind, maybe some sort of
doubt.
"What is it?" I asked.
"Just those little nagging doubts; the questions I
can't shake, and can't answer."
"You too?"
"You have doubts too?"
"A few, and a room full of questions."
"About what?" The sound of her voice had become
incredulous.
"The doubts, or the questions?"
"Don't you have questions concerning your
doubts?"
"Yes, and no, the doubts and questions are mostly
about two different things."
Lana was boring through me head with that look again. I
just waited. I thought what I'd said made perfect sense.
Finally Lana asked, "What are your doubts
about?"
"What we're about to try and do. About the escape,
then the dangers of traveling. Mostly, I have some doubts about if I'll be able
to convince any men to join our little band as members. I don't know if I'll
choose correctly, or if we'll be able to trust any men we might convert. My
biggest doubt is if I can really do what I'm about to try and do once we get
out of this city."
I took a breath, then finished.
"The one thing I don't doubt though, is the
sincerity of your act. You, all of you, with the exception of Sandy are very
serious about doing this. At first I just thought it was a charade to get laid,
but now I've changed my mind. I think that both your little group, and the High
Counsel really want the same thing; but you have two completely different
approaches to the problem."
"If you want my opinion about it, I like your
approach better. It just seems more sincere and direct than the Counsels
approach. More like you're acting out of caring, not for some self-seeking
reason."
After a time, Lana finally responded, "It's amazing,
but our doubts are almost identical. There is one difference though, your
doubts about my, our motives are receding, while my doubts about your motive is
rising."
"My motive! You mean my motive for agreeing to go
along with your plan to leave here?"
"Yes, that's it."
"There are really two reasons. Mine is to go home,
you have to know I want to go home. The other is to avoid the displeasure.... I
stopped no that's not right. By going along with your plan, I invoke the wrath
of the Counsel, not avoid it!"
I stopped for a bit, the thought had shook me, but then I
continued.
"The way it goes is this; I first started to
cooperate with the breeding plan of the Counsels to avoid their wrath. I'm
going along with you and your plan at the risk of the Counsels wrath, and of
dying at the hand of my own people as a traitor; because I want to go home,
where I can live in the open again, and because I think you have the better
plan. There is one more reason, and it may be the biggest of all. I don't want
you to go out on your own to contact men, I know what they're more than likely
to do when you make contact. I've grown to like your foolishness, and don't want
to have anything happen to you. In other words, I want to help."
Shortly Lana spoke, "That's my biggest doubt,"
she said softly, "that your just doing this to get home, and don't really
care about us at all, to think nothing of the extinction of the human
race."
I held out my hand to the redheaded woman, and asked her
to take it. When she did, I slowly moved to her and wrapped her in my arms,
hugging her gently, firmly, honestly. We stood there in that hug for quite some
time, before she finally responded to it, and returned the warmth of her own
hug.
I spoke softly, slowly. "Lana, I care about you, and
the others I've come to know here. I will never let you come to harm if I can
help it, and I'll never hold you back, or keep you as a prisoner or slave. The
one exception is that I will do all I can do to make you a slave of passion,
and want me to take liberties with your emotional and physical feelings, not to
hurt you, but set you free in that space we visit when we touch each other.
I'll do anything to keep that now that I've tasted it, including killing any
man, or woman, who tries to harm any whom I care for."
Lana stood back and looked into my eyes again, as if she
could see right into my head. This time she ended apparently satisfied with
what she saw, and melted in my arms, soft, yielding, warm, and secure. At least
as secure as any jailer who was handing the keys to an inmate, and allowing
them to take control, the way the jailer had been in control, literally trading
places.
I hoped I would prove worthy of these women's trust.
*** *** *** *** ***
We just stood in her room, embraced, sharing the warm,
comfortable security of each other. We finally started to totter as we relaxed
against each other a bit too much to remain standing and shifted to regain the
balance. I finally broke our silence.
"Lana, we can't win, gravity will force us to lay
down whether we want to or not if we stay like this for much longer. Lets go
run a hot tub of water and soak together for a while."
"OK, lets, it sounds wonderful."
Then arm in arm we moved to her bathroom, turned on the
water, and watched each other take off our clothes, then sank into the
wonderfully warm water to take liberties with each others feelings and bodies.
Lana held me as I floated in the water, and fell directly asleep in her care. I
slept better and more restfully for the next few hours, than I ever had before,
or would again, for a long time to come.
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Chapter 48 | Chapter 50
Index | Title Page
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