SIGNS OF THE TIMES
A Small Paper With Small Articles Because It's Just Plain Small

Volume 1, Number 29

Truth...
Number 3

Compiled By:
JD Hoeye

  1. Two surgeons were watching a mechanic work on a car when one remarked,
    "You know Doctor, being a car mechanic is perhaps as complicated as the work we do."
    "Maybe," the other surgeon replied, "but let's see him do it while the engine is running."

  2. The tongue is in a wet place, and easily slips.

  3. No family needs a vacation so much as the family who has just had one.

  4. People are like wine - age sours the bad and improves the good.

  5. Wit without wisdom is like salt without a meal.

  6. Worry gives a small thing a big shadow.

  7. On a lonely moonlit country road, as the car engine coughed and the car to a halt, the following conversation took place.
    "That's funny," the young man said, "I wonder what that knocking was?"
    "Well, I can tell you one thing for sure," the girl answered icily. "It wasn't opportunity."

  8. Ever notice that about the time you think you're to graduate from school of experience, somebody thinks up a new course?

  9. Two can still live as cheaply as one . . . if one doesn't show up.

  10. He knows so little and knows it fluently.

  11. Brother: Ouch! I bumped my crazy bone.
    Sister: Oh well, comb your hair right and the bump won't show.

  12. Making a marriage work is a lot like farming; it requires constant attention, seven days and nights each week.

  13. It's very interesting that relatives who have no children bring them up so well.

  14. Don't ever confuse an open mind with one that's vacant.

  15. Modesty is the triumph of mind over flatter.

  16. Don't worry about getting old. It's better to be "over the hill" than under it.

  17. One way to keep your feed on the ground is to put responsibility on your shoulders.

  18. Adolescence is that time of life when children start bringing up their parents.

  19. Tolerance is sometimes the uncomfortable feeling that the other fellow may be right after all.

  20. If sunrises were meant to be enjoyed, they would come at 10:00 in the morning.

  21. Patience is the ability to keep your shirt on when you are hot under the color.

  22. Temptation can defeat reputation if the stakes are high enough.

  23. There's no need to be nervous about what others are thinking of you. Actually, they're worrying about what you think of them.

  24. You can usually count on kids to quote you correctly, especially if it's something you wish you hadn't said.

  25. Skiing: Jumping to contusions.

  26. The grouch who thinks the world is against him may be right.

  27. We never know the love our parents have for us until we become parents.

  28. Some say the love of money might be the root al l evil, but then most people wouldn't know, because it never sticks around long enough to develop any real affection for it.

  29. Dollar's worth: What you get for a dollar and the government gets for 2.

  30. Conscience usually doesn't come out of the closet until someone opens the door.
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